Employee Training Program for The Hooters Girl: Part Two

Part Two: I can tell a man wrote this employee manual. A very, very stupid man.

To project the proper Hooters Girl image: "Always make sure uniform, hair, makeup are perfect."

"Suggestive descriptions to help customers visualize the food on the Hooters menu:
made fresh daily,
naturally fresh, [WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?]
homemade, [How can something made at a Hooters restaurant be described as HOMEMADE?]
famous,
nearly world famous,
soon-to-be-world famous,
thick, bubbly
crunchy,
chunky,
over-sized."

To describe the "Hooterita:"

"Like a margarita, only different!" [OH, OK! NOW I get it! Different! As in, there are breasts floating in it, that kind of different, right?]

Employee Training Program for The Hooters Girl

Wow, what a FIND:

Gems from the training manual for a Hooters waitress. I did not make any of these up, I swear.

The Ten Commandments of a Hooters Girl:

1. Thou shalt always SMILE.

2. Thou shalt always greet arriving and departing guests and never place back towards front door. [What? Why not? I'm too lazy to find out right now... maybe one day.]

3. Thou shalt treat guests as they wish to be treated. [Boring.]

4. Thou shalt treat other staff as you wish to be treated. [Repetitive!]

5. Thou shalt always inform customers of promotions we are having. [Again, I'm too lazy to look into what they mean by "promotions."]

6. Thou shalt always suggest merchandise and follow proper procedures for obtaining it. [What are the improper procedures for obtaining it? Ew!]

7. Thou shalt always practice responsible alcohol service.

8. Thou shalt always arrive prepared for work. [by being under-dressed]

MY FAVORITE: 9.) Thou shalt always lives by FAT (Fun, Attitude, Teamwork) [Not by BEING fat, silly!]

10. Thou shalt always refer to commandment one. [I think they just couldn't think of a 10th one.]